Dear Earthlings (and disguised Spacelings),
Have you ever felt too frustrating that you might actually think you have became kaput? Or in easier way to explain it is to feel useless and utterly defeated. Well lately I have been feeling all of that for I might have thought I am doomed forever to an unfortunate life.
I know there are always reasons not to feel good enough and whatnot, but at the end of the day it will be me still doing all the self-questioning about the life I am currently living. Sometimes I still did question through my prayers; why is that I am not leading a normal life like the others? Why do I still have unanswered prayers? Do all my prayers have been listened, then?
I asked The Hubster on one night.
"I have a few friends who have been negligent in solats. They are not even proper in covering their aurahs. But why do they still live a way better life than me?"
"I don't know," The Hubster shrugged.
"Maybe they have done other good deeds in life despite of their lacking in ibadahs. No?"
"Hmm maybe," He replied in short.
"So does it mean I am a bad person?"
"Now that's absurd," He ended the topic.
We both then got idled for quite some times. Maybe he was thinking the possibilities like I did, too. Is it because I have sinned so much that my prayers got delayed to be granted? Astaghfirullahaladzim. I ask forgiveness from Allah the Almighty.
I suddenly remember about a reminder given by Nyah the-second-sis a few years back. She said to always repent for our sins every single day and ask as much as you need from Allah SWT without doubts. Not to forget to work on full amount of efforts beside repent and doas'.
 |
| 'Yours Truly was bottle-fed by Nyah. God, she looked real skinny back then' |
Well she was right. I am doubting my Creator and I am ashamed with it. If any of our prayers have yet to be answered, it means we have not done good enough on other part of repenting, asking doas and making efforts. If we are sure enough that we have done all the three parts, it must be a matter of time. In sya Allah.
It will either be sooner or later, people!
