Penned Down #31: A Mother-In-Law Who Was Never Like One

Dear Earthlings (and disguised Spacelings),

Pardon me for this blog post will be somehow written with emotional state, and a long one. I always strict myself from pouring my all out emotions when it comes to public medium interaction; for I knew a lot of consequences will be involved later. It is just this time, I feel the needs to let out most things from my chest. For this is the very first time I truly feel the loss of somebody I love.

Until today, I still have a cry when I realize that Mak is really gone. No, I never cry for somebody's death. I did not even cry when my granny passed away when I was a teenager. I would only shed tears when I feel emotionally abused or being treated unfairly. The only death event I cried was when Puteh my cat left me in 2010. That was all. That was it.

But whenever I think of Mak, I could never spare the tears. With every drop I shed, it comes with every regret. And it's always huge, never little. Too many things were unfulfilled, thus left me with the biggest remorse. I was trapped with disappointment over things I have done and not done towards Mak in those four years as a daughter-in-law to her. I have totally disappointed her. But I cannot make it right, now.

'Mak during my solemnization'

The most saddest thing is I finally got a job offer after three years of unemployment only a day after Mak was gone. I was merely a day late to inform her the long awaited news which she had always wait for. I always knew the fact that I got a job would eventually change her day, and her health condition. At least, that was one thing I sure could cheer her up.

Either way she might get better or not, I knew the news that The Hubster and I would finally have a stable life would surely ease her worries before she closed her eyes. But I was too late. I took for granted for all her wish and feelings. I thought I was doing good things for her all these while by keeping shut of every worrying stuffs but all I did was simply drifting her away from us. How I regret about everything right now.

Knowing Mak in such short term, I can say that she is the most graceful lady in every way. She never made me feel I was a stranger to the family ever since. She let me do all things in the house according to my way, like cooking and cleaning. Never she had raised her voice or make me felt uneasy during our stay in Klang. She was way beyond the typical Malays mother-in-law.

'During my convocation day when I was still engaged to The Hubster'

She would never differentiate particular treatment between her grown-up children or interfere with anything deemed to be personal. The thing with Mak is she would never take credits for anything she did like cooking. She would point the credits to anyone else. And she would beamed with proud to tell anyone if her daughter or her daughters-in-law were to cook or bake anything in the house. That was Mak I knew.

During our last Eid together, I was surprised that she gave me a bracelet and a fabric for Kurung. What made me sad was she had been keeping the gifts for me since last year's Eid when The Hubster and I could not make it to get home at that time (which was unfortunately regretted). Never I knew they were the last things she had to give me before she left us.

The last time I met her after Eid was a week before she left us. The Hubster and I took our chance to visit Mak in hospital. At that time, Mak was already looking weak and thinner than usual. For the first time, she was giving me advices in front of others which she had never done before. I was actually quite hurt but never I thought that was the only opportunity for her to convey her last words to me.

'The last picture with Mak'

During our last meeting, I remember how I hugged her tighter than usual. I even kissed her repeatedly. Never it crossed my mind that it was the last time I got to kiss her when she was still breathing. But still, I thank to Allah SWT for I got the chance to bath her body on my own laps during the funeral along with my SILs. I was grateful to have the chance to dedicate my last deed to Mak in her final moment.

I miss you, Mak. And I hope I had your forgiveness. I know you are now resting in peace just like Allah SWT has promised to His obliged servants. I could not stop thinking of you and I am so sorry for everything. I am sorry I did not get the chance to make you happy with my personal achievement and yet a grandchild to give. My only gift for you now is doa's with holy Quran recites. I always love you, Mak. Will always be.

Al-Fatihah to my beloved Mak Umi Kalsom.

Penned Down #30: Umi Kalsom Abdul Rahman

Dear Earthlings (and disguised Spacelings),

'1952 to 2013'

I am still finding words to convey this news on this blog. I kept writing but deleting them for I could not find the right way to start this post. Anyway, this is my side of story. It was nearing midnight to our 4th anniversary when suddenly The Hubster got a call from his brother. The conversation was only a minute quick and when he hung up, I asked him why. His face was all confused.

"Mak passed away," He answered in short; still with a blurring face.

I jumped out of the bed; trembled and all cold.

"Pack our clothes," He ordered and started taking out our bags.

At that instant, I felt like choking and gasping for the air. I ran to Mom's room and knocked her door like mad. Told her what happened and Mom started crying. I then ran back to our room and packed our stuffs randomly. My mind was all blank. I could not think of any proper way to pack our bags like I usually did. I just stuffed in anything I saw in the closet.

While packing things, I asked him to call anyone in Klang just to reconfirm the news. He called the house and that was it; Mak has really passed away just a few minutes before. We quickly grabbed our bags and headed to Klang at 12 midnight of our anniversary. I did not cry back at home; so did The Hubster. Maybe we were too shocked.

Only after we were just leaving the town, we finally realized that Mak is now gone. Both of us burst into tears. It was my first time to see The Hubster broke down and sobbed like a child since we have been together. He was never a cry person; so did I. I only cry when I feel abused or being treated unfairly. I guess I never cried for anyone's death since I live for 27 years, except for Puteh my cat.

We reached my PIL's house at 2.30 a.m, only to see lots of people were wandering at the house porch. My both hand and feet felt numb instantly; I did not have any courage to step inside. I hold tight to The Hubster's shirt while we walked. It felt like a dream to see the covered body of Mak lay down in the middle of living hall. Mak has really gone.

'Taken during our reception in Klang of December 27th'

It was my first time to hug Ayah ever since I was married to The Hubster. It hurt me to see how Ayah was sniveling all night long while he recited the Quran beside Mak's body. During their 42 years of marriage, he had never left Mak alone when he was traveling. They were never being apart for more than 24 hours. It could be said that Mak and Ayah were the most loving couple I have ever seen in life.

Praise be to Allah SWT, for Mak's funeral was all smooth and quick. Alhamdulillah, I was given the opportunity to bath her for the first and last time. It is just that I can't believe that tomorrow marks the 7th day since Mak has left all of us. Until this very minute, I still have a feeling that Mak's death is all dream. This is one loss too deary to everyone in the family.

Al-Fatihah to my late mother-in-law, Hajah Umi Kalsom.

Penned Down #29: The Official Four

Dear Earthlings (and disguised Spacelings),

'December 12th, 2009'

“And among His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find comfort and repose in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.” Surah Ar-Rum [30:21]

Happy 4th Anniversary! XOXO

Penned Down #28: The Adolescence Secret

Dear Earthlings (and disguised Spacelings),

It seems to me the latest social media trend amongst the youngsters are eating them out eventually. Not to mention those who involved with public display affection through their own uploaded videos (which I supposed there were for personal keepsakes which got leaked thereafter by trusted person). No?

I personally think their brainless actions are resulted from immature critical thinking, but what really bothers me are tonnes of inappropriate reactions from public itself. Reading those too-much comments dropped by people who hold the same religious faith like me are simply devastating. Are they rightful enough or greater themselves to judge another human being? Sigh.

I gotta admit some of the uploaded videos are beyond inappropriate; maybe because most of them are underage children. But come on man, by doing all contemptible acts through what you write in the comment box is much annoying. I guess these kind of people get their pleasure by bashing somebody's mistake; only not to realize their acts are more despicable than the one they bashed.

I am not taking sides but as far as I concern, everybody has their own hitherto secrets. Be it something ashamed we did when we were much younger or immature acts which we hope to keep them in secret, everybody entitles to a mistake. As in those children's cases, too bad their secrets got leaked to merciless internet public.

'Back when we were youngsters. Bahaha'

Teenagehood is actually a fun stage of experimentation and exploring things. This is when we are going to do the opposite to try it out and know for ourselves. No? Curiosity and rebellious streak will pop out most of the times. But always be careful in exploring things, for later on it will lead to consequences that might be a lifetime of suffering.

Always remember dear people, for love and sex is never a same thing. There is no such thing of giving in either two just to have the other twos. Embrace sexuality only when we are fully aware of what we are doing; which it should be in a marriage from Islam perspective. It's because the curiosity from when we were younger is still intact albeit it could be quite dangerous if not properly handled.

For adults out there, we sure have been through their phases. We know how love could turn somebody haywired. And some of us used to be like them before; doing things we were not proud of and such. But it doesn't mean we can abuse their mistakes with cruel words. As humans, we must advise others towards what is good but there is always a proper way to do this.

So handle everything with care, people!

Scent of Sentiment #4: Floods in Malaysian East Coast

Dear Earthlings (and disguised Spacelings),

'Temerloh, Pahang'

'Kuantan, Pahang'

'Dungun, Terengganu'

'Chukai, Kelantan'

'Segamat, Johore'

Residents on Malaysian East Coast suffer from flooding almost yearly due to monsoon rains that usually last from late November to February. But recent severe flooding has forced over 40,000 people to evacuate. I personally wish for everyone's safety. Let's keep our prayers to all flood victim, survivor and rescue parties involved. Between, all pictures are courtesy of Google.com.

Kindly click here to make affordable donations within your budget range to the flood victims in Malaysian East Coast.

Just a friendly reminder to you and I, people!

Reviews From Heart #4: Anugerah Quran's Pencuci Muka

Disclaimer: This is not a paid post. Everything is based on my honest and personal experience in using the reviewed product with no influences of any third party. Opinion may change from time to time depending on future event.

Dear Earthlings (and disguised Spacelings),

I have been trying a few products under Anugerah Quran's label before I encounter this face cleanser. I must admit, the idea of using Al-Quran's verses and selected doa's as part of the ingredients have caught my attention. I mean, what could goes wrong with something blended with holy Quran ritual. No? So let's see my honest review here.

'Presenting; Anugerah Quran's Face Cleanser for Troubled Skin. Courtesy of Anugerah Quran.com'

Here's to What it Claims (taken from website):

Formula unik Pencuci Muka Anugerah yang menggabungkan herba tradisional dan kaedah rawatan Islam membantu menghilangkan kekotoran dan sel-sel mati supaya kulit anda kembali ceria dan bertenaga. Sesuai untuk kulit bermasalah.

This unique formula of Anugerah Cleanser combines both traditional herb and Islamic treatment methods. It helps to remove dirt and impurities in skin so that your skin will glow and be healthy again. Suitable for troubled skin.

Here's to the No Gimmick Ingredient (taken from website):

Air nyah ion (Deionized Water), Glyserin (Glycerin), Polisorbat 20 (Polysorbate 20), Ekstrak sireh (Betel Leaves Extract), Ekstrak buah pinang (Areca Fruits Extract), Ekstrak inai (Henna Extract), Ekstrak avokado (Avocado Extract), Vitamin E.

with:

Al-Quran 30 juz's verses, Ruqyah Verse, Ruqyah Jibril Verse, Ruqyah Nabawiyyah Verse, Kursi Verse, Selawat Nabi dan doa syifa’, Selawat Tafrijiyyah, Pendinding al-Muawwizat, Saiyidul istighfar (penghulu taubat), Ayat pembatal sihir dan pukau, Ayat penawar sihir dan pukau, Ayat penawar seribu guna, Ayat pendamaian, Ayat pelembut hati, Doa penghindar gangguan syaitan, Doa penghindar hasutan syaitan, Doa bakar jin dan syaitan, Doa pengasih, Doa seri wajah, Doa pelaris perniagaan, Doa penyejuk, Doa atasi gangguan tidur, Doa atasi cemburu & hasad dengki, Doa pendinding, Doa penerang hati, Solat hajat.

'Courtesy of Anugerah Quran.com'

Here's to What I Personally Think:

This is currently my favorite face cleanser for now! It sure beats my former favorite of MooGoo's Milk Wash due to its soothing property ingredient. The kind of thing that leaves your face with cooling mint sensation feel, you know? My whole face feels so refreshed each time I am having my face-washing routine.

The best of all, you could definitely see the reduction in acne formation. It really dries up your pustule and cystic pimples beside minimizes the redness and irritation level underneath the skin. So far, this is the best cleanser for my acne problem, yet. 

However, too much washing would cause your skin to be slightly drier so never wash your face with this cleanser more than twice a day. So basically I am now stuck between MooGoo's Milk Wash for moisturizing effect and this cleanser for drying up my oily skin.

Well, there is no doubt I will rate this face cleanser a five out of five if it doesn't dry up my skin. Plus, the 40g content is just enough to be used for nearly two weeks so I had to buy two bottles for a month supply. I really hope Anugerah Quran will come out with bigger bottles in future.

Anyhow to Muslims, it is best to use this cleanser by reciting Al-Fatihah during your foaming time. Leave it for approximately two to three minutes before you rinse it. Say your Selawats while rinsing it then you are good to go.

• Texture & Smell: Transparent liquid with barely fragrance smell. A refreshing cleanser yet.
• Foaming Level: Moderate. 
• Moisturizing Level: Moderate.
• Irritation Level: Minimal.
• Visible Result: Skin feels soothed and really fresh with its cooling mint sensation. It feels much softer than usual.
• Acne Reduction: Pustule and cystic acne are reduced in visible number.
• Cleansing Effect: Good for light makeup.
• Overuse Effect: Might dry out skin a little bit. Remember to wash your face not more than three times a day.
• Retail Price: RM20.00
• Content: 40g
• Where To Purchase: All Jamu outlets and certain pharmacies
• Online Purchase: Available Here 
• Repeat Purchase: Definitely.
• Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Next review will be on Anugerah Quran's UV Foundation, people!

Penned Down #27: A Life Unsubscribed

Dear Earthlings (and disguised Spacelings),

Sometimes I just wonder of how some people could simply judge the others with no sense of relevancy. Argumentation based on their own points of view for matters that are out of their hands are just plain pathetic to me. Most of all, trying to reasoning with these kind of people is one hell of a job.

Let me clarify something, dear people. Instead of pointing fingers at things you are not certain, try to put yourselves into that person's shoes. Feel what he/she is experiencing at the comfort of their senses, not yours. Then only you can start judging that person based on what you feel about what he/she is going through.

Let me bring my case for example. It is true that my life is not as fine and dandy as others. But bear in mind, for this a life which I never signed up for. Do you think I love to be unemployed after I spent a minimum of five years studying for a degree scroll in a remote town built of nothing fancy before?

Besides, do you think I enjoy staying with parents and dragged The Hubster along to live together just because I did not manage to get a decent job for now? And do you think I get the pleasure from answering the same sort of questions every time I go back to my in-laws' place? I never asked for a life like that, anyway.

'Back when we were engaged and I just graduated'

Think wisely before you act something unpleasant to others. It is their lives that you are speaking ill of, not yours. You might see them incapable of things you already have in life; which is getting married, getting children, getting top-notch professions and such. But are you aware that everything in life is written by the hands of God?

Don't feel pity for me, or those similar unfortunate people that you see. I really hate things that evoking unneeded sympathy. The only thing we need from so-called fortunate group of people is please quit nosing around us. Yeah, we share this same beautiful world but it doesn't mean we have to share our personal lives with you. No?

Like The Hubster told me, we are two grown-up adults. And we never asked for any single opinion of how we should live our lives. It is time now to stop asking when somebody is going to get married, children, job or sort of questions. Instead of asking them, why don't you ask the Almighty God Himself (well, if only you dare to).

A person does not live the same way like the others, people!

Faith Friday #8: Surah An-Nisa' [4:34]

Dear Earthlings (and disguised Spacelings),

'Original Photo Courtesy of GrumpyCats.com'

"Men are guardians of women, because Allah has made one superior to the other, and (also) because men spend their wealth (on them). So the pious wives are obedient. They guard (their chastity) in the absence of their husbands with the protection of Allah. But those women whom you fear will disobey and defy, admonish them; and (if they do not amend) separate them (from yourselves) in beds; and (if they still do not improve) turn away from them, striking a temporary parting. Then if they become cooperative with you, do not seek any way against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand." Surah An-Nisa' [4:34]

Another beautiful reminder for us, people!

Scent of Sentiment #3: A Strong-Willed 3 1/2 Months Premature

Dear Earthlings (and disguised Spacelings),

 Each time you decide to be irresponsible for unwanted pregnancy, please think of this baby.

For this baby is struggling on his own life just to be born into this world, when all you do are getting unsafe sex which leads to unwanted pregnancy that you despise of. Are you aware that you are responsible for that tiny life inside your womb?

Each time you decide to get an abortion, please think of this baby.

For this baby is holding on his own fragile body with minimal strength just to stay live, when all you do are thinking the quickest way to get rid of your developing baby. Are you aware that you are not God Himself to take away one's life with your own bare hands?

Each time you decide to be ignorant about your pregnancy, please think of this baby.

For this baby's parents believe in God so much that they give their baby a second chance to live with only little hopes to hold on, when all you do are being such an ego with no humanity for stopping your baby to breathe. Are you aware that everyone deserves a second chance even a tiny human fetus?

Always remember that millions of people out there are struggling to get pregnant. Unlike you, they are willing to do anything just to hold a baby of their own. Stop being such irresponsible and ignorant parents who choose to be selfish by letting go their unwanted babies. You can choose to be a noble person, instead.

Be bold and ignore if the whole world hates you for carrying a baby out of wedlock; your baby should not be judged by your mistake. Let they live like they should be at the first place. Give your baby a chance to live for it is truly your responsibility now.

Follow this baby's progress through Instagram @3enjamin5cot or click here for the father's personal website.

Just a friendly reminder to you and I, people!

Penned Down #26: Download 2014 Ikea Malaysia Catalog

Dear Earthlings (and disguised Spacelings),

I had a hectic weekend, and a frustrating one if I must say. However I am not going to elaborate more for it is too personal to be blogged about. What can I say is The Hubster and I are too disappointed with unwanted interfering stuffs into our lives recently. A piece of advice for what it's worth; be reminded for every action is followed by its consequences. So always, always remember that.

On the other hand, I feel grateful for having The Hubster by my side through thick and thin. We were supposed to heading back home after that long, sad weekend when suddenly I spotted The Hubster drove towards the city. I then stopped sobbing the moment I saw IKEA signage ahead. What the heck?

"I thought this should relieve your gloomy days," The Hubster grinned before he made the exit turn.

Man, was he for real? I was actually pissed off, for I was not really in mood for any window-shopping at that time. Plus, what we were gonna do with furniture store's sightseeing at 8 p.m? On top of all, he had to work the next morning and the home journey would definitely take less or more of four hours straight. Pfft.

Unfortunately The Hubster has been my bed-mate for quite too long so he really does know me better than anyone. The moment we stepped inside, every burden I felt earlier was somehow lighted from my shoulders. It was quite odd because my previous hour was spent with sobbing and snivel while the next hour, I was gallivanting with joy seeing all those favorite stuffs of mine.

If you must know, I am the kind of person who goes wild upon seeing duvet cover set or such home decorations ever since I was a teenage kid. I am not quite sure why I am so attached to home decorations compared to other things. It is so mother-types but that's what I really am anyway. Thank Godness for I share this weird passion with The Hubster, too.

Sadly we did not get to grab the meatballs due to freaking long queue (duh, it was Sunday - what should we expect then?). Bought myself some scented candles and stuffs but still, I was feeling over the moon while sniffing around things that interest me. As been expected, we reached home at 1 in the morning but with better mood, of course.

'Courtesy of IKEA Malaysia.com'

Anyhow, if you are like me who loves flipping the online catalog through laptop rather than tablets, you might want to download the 2014 IKEA catalog through my personal link because IKEA website only provides download for mobile application. Last but not least, let us all start imagining our dream house decoration from now on. Bahaha!

Click here to download the free catalog of 2014 IKEA Malaysia.

Day-dreaming the future is the true jolly thing, people!